Surrogacy is a deeply personal journey, blending hope, complexity and emotional depth for intended parents, surrogates and families.
At Happy Minds Psychology, our psychologists know this path can feel overwhelming, especially with the Australian Law Reform Commission review of 2025 shining a light on the need for clearer surrogacy laws in Australia. Finding the right surrogacy counsellor can make all the difference, offering support to navigate the emotional and practical challenges. You’re not alone in seeking guidance, and there are key qualities to look for in a counsellor to ensure your mental health and wellbeing are supported, wherever you are in Australia.
Here’s how to choose a surrogacy counsellor who fits your needs, with tips to foster resilience and clarity.
Seek Specialised Experience
A great counsellor has specific expertise in surrogacy, understanding its unique emotional landscape. Look for someone who knows the ins and outs of surrogacy journeys, from medical processes to family dynamics. This experience ensures they can tailor support to your story, boosting your mental health. Check their qualifications or ask directly about their surrogacy background to feel confident in their skills.
Prioritise Emotional Safety
You need a space where you can share openly without fear of judgement. A good counsellor creates this by listening fully and validating your feelings, whether it’s excitement or anxiety. Notice how they respond in an initial chat, do they make you feel heard? This safety is vital for mental wellbeing, letting you explore tough emotions. Try asking, “How do you support clients through uncertainty?” to gauge their approach.
Look for Empathy and Understanding
Empathy is the heart of surrogacy counselling. Your counsellor should connect with your experience, whether you’re navigating hope, loss, or complex relationships. Our psychologists know this empathy helps you feel seen, fostering resilience. During a first session, share a small piece of your story and see if they respond with warmth and understanding. A counsellor who gets you can transform your mental health journey.
Check for Practical Tools
Surrogacy brings emotional ups and downs, and a skilled counsellor offers tools to manage them, like mindfulness for stress or strategies to communicate with family. These tools build emotional resilience, keeping you grounded. Ask, “What strategies do you use for surrogacy challenges?” Their answer should include practical ideas, not just talk. This focus on actionable support strengthens your wellbeing through every stage.
Ensure Flexibility in Delivery
Life during surrogacy is busy, with appointments and decisions piling up. A counsellor who offers flexible options, like telehealth or varied session times, fits your schedule. This accessibility supports your mental health by making help easy to reach. Confirm their availability, “Do you offer online sessions?”. Telehealth especially ensures you can connect from anywhere in Australia, keeping your wellbeing first.
Value Open Communication
Surrogacy often involves multiple people, partners, surrogates, or families, and a counsellor should help you navigate these dynamics. They might suggest ways to discuss expectations or handle tough talks. Ask how they support family communication; a good answer will focus on clarity and connection. This skill helps you maintain strong relationships, bolstering your mental health throughout the process.
Assess Cultural Sensitivity
Your counsellor should respect your unique background, whether it’s cultural, personal, or related to your family structure. They should understand diverse surrogacy experiences, like those of LGBTQI+ families. Ask, “How do you tailor support for different identities?” A sensitive approach ensures your story is honoured, supporting your resilience and mental wellbeing in a way that feels right.
Know They’re There for the Long Haul
Surrogacy is a marathon, and your counsellor should be ready for the whole journey, from planning to post birth. They should offer ongoing support, not just one off sessions or the legally mandated amount of sessions, to help you process each phase. Check if they’re open to long term counselling or follow ups. This continuity builds a safety net for your mental health, helping you stay steady no matter what comes.
Your Journey, Your Support
Choosing the right surrogacy counsellor is about finding someone who supports your mental health with expertise, empathy, and practical tools. It’s not about navigating alone but partnering with someone who lifts you up through every step of your surrogacy journey.
At Happy Minds Psychology, we’re here to guide you with counselling that honours your unique path, wherever you are in Australia. Whether you’re an intended parent, surrogate, or family, our psychologists are ready to listen and offer tailored support via telehealth or in person in Geelong, helping you find strength and calm. You’re building something extraordinary, and we’re here for every moment of your journey.